Hurray!

Well, the good news is that Mark made supper. Best macaroni & cheese & hamburger I've ever eaten. And put away the clean dishes that were in the sink. And gave Jensen a bath. And picked up some stuff that was on the floor. And watched Anna while I went to get the caterpillars on my face waxed down to eyebrows.

I'm grateful. I didn't do much around the house today.

The bad news is that for several weeks, I can't say, "You never do anything around here."

I guess I'll just have to be a nice wife and leave out the accusations and just ask him to do what I need. Darn it!

My daily affirmation

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

This job search thing has dug some crap. I've learned that I've become comfortable. I've been as casual about my career as the clothes I've been wearing every day. I am reluctant to promote myself. I focus on the negative. I don't think that people think I'm talented even though many people have told me that I am. I feel like I have to convince them that I am, like they doubt it. I doubt it.

So waking up to these things is good. The hard part is changing them, looking for the source of these feelings and doing a 180. Part of it is positive thinking. This is a new adventure for me. Wish me luck.

Top 10 Favorite Things about Our Weekend

1. Brother Caleb came home from Spain to stay! I got to pick him up from the train station so I was the first Condit to see him!

2. Everyone at my house. At one point I looked around and there was stuff EVERWHERE. And there were people everywhere doing their thing. I'm so grateful for a small house with an open floor plan. Everyone has to stay close.

3. Listening to Caleb and Dad play guitars together. Here's a picture of them eating together. It was sweet to see father and son together.


4. Partying with the Dugan family. Good food, good laughter, good wine, good fun. Here's Meegan. She's 20 weeks pregnant.



5. Watching my family love on my kids. It's neat how much they love Jensen and Anna.




6. Enjoying Saturday afternoon at Independence Grove. Jensen and Grandpa fished, Jensen caught his first fish with his new fishing pole!

7. Noticing how much Anna has grown, how interactive she is, how she grabs for things (a developmental milestone).



8. Walking along North Avenue with Missy, Caleb, Louis, Jensen and Anna. Shopping at Sur La Table with Caleb was a highlight. Then we got on a bus and it got later and later and we were hungry and I wasn't sure where to go. Wish Flat Top Grill on North Ave had been open.

9. Eating Sunday breakfast with my family. Even though it took 3 hours to make it and 15 minutes to eat it. Kinda like Thanksgiving, only that meal takes 6 hours to make and we stretch it to last 30 minutes.

10. Knowing that my son is safe. We couldn't find him for five minutes while at TJMaxx downtown Chicago. I was pretty sure someone had stolen him and I'd never see him again. It was really scary!

Not My House!

Monday morning at 7 am those of us still sleeping were startled by a lightning bolt that struck REAL close. Anna cried, Jensen cried and I hoped they'd go back to sleep so I could too. Fifteen minutes later fire trucks parked on my street. Then, as I listening to Jensen's breathing, hoping he'd fall back asleep I heard a woman screaming. I imagined charred flesh or distress over a child or pet or other loved one. That got me up.

Mark was awake and sitting at the computer. He said that it was our neighbor who was screaming, "Not my house! Not my house!" The house across the street and to the left had flames coming out of the roof and smoke was filling the street.

I sat on my couch with my baby on my lap and watched the commotion outside. In the gentle drizzle, people stood and watched the firefighters. A neighbor came out of his house and brought blankets for those standing outside. I wished that I had been so thoughtful. My next door neighbor lady and her boys came out to join the small crowd. The little girl across the street tentatively stepped out of her home.

I wished I could do something. Bring them something to eat and drink. An umbrella. I felt so bad for them.

I thought about what it would be like if it were me. I know I would feel distress over lost belongings. My dad says, "It's just stuff. It's all going to burn in the end anyway." I wish I could be so cavalier. But I'm attached to my stuff. The scrapbooks I have spent so much time, thought and money to create. The furniture dad has made me and the furniture I have inherited. The artwork made by my sister, brother and grandmother. Handmade quilts. I would miss that stuff if it burned or it was lost to me somehow.

I wish it weren't so.