Ten Things I Love About Melissa

Melissa's birthday was earlier this month, but this month moved faster than me. So I'm honoring her birth and life now.

Ten things I love about Melissa.

1. Melissa is one of the sweetest people around. She is genuinely loving and cares about people. She works retail and she must fall in love with every customer that comes in, she's that nice. She tries to see where other people are coming from and she does it without trying.

2. Melissa is very creative, it just flows out of her. Here's one of my favorite pictures of her as a little girl because it really shows the intensity of her creativity.


3. She is prissy (in a good way). Mom tells the story of how she loved patent leather shoes. I seemed to always have messy hair and dirty clothes (I still do). It kinda frustrated me (still does) but she always manages to stay clean.

4. She moves like molasses (in a bad way). But I bring that negative up to make the point that she's like Jacqueline Kennedy, who was said to be the same way. And her husband said something along the lines of, "she's later than the rest of us but she looks better than ALL of us." I feel the same is true for Melissa. She always looks stunning no matter the occasion.

5. On a related topic, Melissa knows how to pose for a picture. She's great at giving the photographer a good shot, so it's hard to choose which picture of her to scrapbook. And she's expressive too. Her husband has 87 pictures of her on his flickr site.

6. She is forgiving. Me and Charity were mean to her growing up and she's forgiven us. I appreciate that.

7. She loves me and my kids. Family is important to Melissa and I appreciate that she plays with Jensen, smooches Anna and always makes us a priority. She's a great aunt! I really like it when she grabs Jensen and entertains him, relieving me of mom duties for a time.






8. She says funny things. Our favorite is "low fart ice cream."

9. Melissa is very encouraging. Her latest encouragement to me was to find my internal athlete. I've been thinking about it and visualizing it. I think I can do it. It'd take some work.

10. She's my sister. I'm sure there's some gushy poem about there about how heaven made us sisters, but we chose to be friends. It's true for Melissa and I. We are friends.

So, besides just loving Melissa for who she is, those are 10 things I love about her.

She thought she had time

She thought she had time.

Stumbled on this blog by a knitter.

www.spiffyknits.blogspot.com

Her last entry, dated September 21st of this year (less than one month ago) talks about her oncologist appointments, how treatment will take six months, how after that six months is over, she'll have to have more tests.

She died today.

Bet she thought she's have time to finish those unfinished projects. Bet she hoped she'd have more time with her 5 year old and her 2 year old.

God, I wish she could have had more time.

10 Things That Suck About Being a Parent

After posting a rave about how great it is to be a mom, I thought I'd balance it out. It's not hard because Friday night and Saturday really sucked so it wasn't hard to come up with the negative aspects.

1. Someone else's poop is my problem. Gross.

2. When they get sick, life stops. If it's at night, there's no sleep because of the coughing, puking, etc. Then, because I work the question becomes, "How do we take care of this kid? I gotta work." The partners then negotiate who's making the sacrifice.

3. Speaking of sacrifice...... It's every day, all week, in so many ways. Sometimes the sacrifice is hard.

4. Worry. Worry about sickness and death. Imagining how it would feel to lose my children. Hearing about friends who lost children or about how their children are sick. What if I die? What if Mark dies? In the front of Jensen's baby book, there's a quote about wearing one's heart on the outside after having a child. Boy, is that true!

5. Definition of a weekend changes. No longer is it sleep and partying. This Friday night, the kids were in bed and Mark and I thought we'd watch a movie. Five or maybe ten minutes into the movie I heard wailing. Both kids were crying. Jensen was continually coughing. The movie was over. In fact, he coughed most of the night. And I didn't get lucky.

6. Budget. I try not to think about what we spend on daycare, but sometimes I can't help myself. Then there's all the other stuff they need. Do you know how much disposable income we'd have?????????

Well, I can't think of 10. Number 3 pretty much sums it up. Plus, the little moments referenced in my previous post make up for it all.

Keeping it real until next time........

It's the Little Things

Tonight we played hide and seek. I don't know why that game is so fun, but it rocks! It's hard to play it without laughing. Jensen was so funny, he doesn't really know how to hide. And he kept hiding behind the overflowing laundry baskets. At one point, I went into the room (again) and saw him in clear sight with his face turned away. He couldn't see me, so I couldn't see him--right?

Anna and I found some good places. We hid behind the bedroom door, tucked away in the darkness near the front door and then near the back door. I laid on the couch. It took him awhile to find me and only because Anna was talking. Silly girl!

It brought back memories of my mom playing hide and seek with us. We were probably also terrible at it because she scrunched down into a corner of the kitchen in front of the back door. You couldn't see it when walking into the kitchen and after that, it was one of our favorite spots. She was so clever!

I was also reminded about how young she was. She was probably younger than me when playing hide and seek with her kids. Well, not probably--she was.

Here's a picture of her, at around 23, with her kids. It's one of my favorite pictures of her. I'm not in it, I think it's possible that I took it.

Which reminds me. It's so funny to be a mom of children when I'm in my 30s. My mom social circle is filled with women in their 20s. I had been talking with a woman on the phone about child care options (she's a new mom) and then when we met at La Leche a few nights later I was taken back. She's a kid! Oh yeah, I'm the weird one. :)

Highlights of Tonight

Highlights of Tonight:

1. Coming home after a long drive.

2. Talking to two pals on the way home. AT&T will be especially happy about the minutes I used.

3. Watching Anna and Jensen play on the floor together.

4. Sitting with Mark, watching our offspring play.

5. Hearing Jensen say to me from the next room, "Don't yell at my sister!" after I loudly protested when she had a little nibble on me while nursing. That was PRECIOUS!

6. Listening to the quiet breathing of my baby nursing to sleep and my toddler's rhythmic breathing.

7. Hanging out with Anna because she likes to be awake with me rather than sleeping.

Play Dates

I hate the word "play date." And I didn't know why. Finally figured it out.

In our culture free flowing, unscheduled play is gone. No more letting kids just run around the neighborhood. It has to be scheduled with approved households. Play takes place in organized sports. That's sad. Wish it wasn't that way.

It makes play grown up. We adults date. Children shouldn't have to. I know "date" means "day/time." But it doesn't really sound like that.

I think what really gets me is that it's child-centric. The "play dates" I prefer are when I connect with the other mother and our children play together. We all leave feeling filled as only positive social interaction can do for us. I know that's not always possible to have both the parents and children being a match, but it is a good thing. My best memories are going to friends where our families connected. In fact, those are the childhood relationships that continue today.