I wonder

I wonder why the human body matures sexually ahead of cognitive development. Really, does that make sense? A person 13-15 years old is sexually mature but doesn't have the physical ability to make logical/rational decisions.

Why?

That's the kind of stuff I wonder about.

Idol Worship American Style

I voted for Barak Obama because I thought he was the guy who could lead the country forward.

But I don't want his face on my stuff. I don't want an Obama coin, Obama coffee mug, Obama watch, Obama screensaver. An Obama t-shirt is OK for other people, they're kinda cool looking. But I don't want an Obama license plate, now available in Illinois.



I know underlying it all is the desire to make a buck, but really, it's scary. Guys like Lenin, Hitler and Hussein had their faces all over the place--a constant reminder of who's in charge. I know Obama hasn't requested all of this. And so far, there's no big Obama image hanging off the side of public buildings, but all this Obama mania makes me feel uncomfortable.

And I know also underlying it is pride and excitement that he was elected.

I just want a president who can make good decisions, work collaboratively with other world leaders and help our country get back on its feet. I don't need to see his face everywhere.

My Life Legacy

What Will Live On?

Every once in awhile I contemplate mortality, how I fit into the universe, how I fit into the generations who have gone before and those ahead of me, and what that means for RIGHT NOW. I wonder if my priorities are right. If seems important, really is important. What really matters?

My perspective becomes clear when I think about what is left of the lives of my great-grandparents.

One of them, William Walter, spent his life farming in Western Iowa. What's left?

His wife lived comfortably after his death. She left some money to her children. There are lots of stories, photos and memories about afternoons on the family farm that the Walter grandchildren tell. There are family heirlooms that are treasured. William Walter's grandchildren have a strong bond. But the old farm is in disrepair and several of the buildings are gone.

Whatever they did on a daily basis and all the time Grandpa Walter spent worrying and working--what's left now? What will his great-great grandchildren know of him? Very little even if the stories are passed down. I don't say this out of disrespect, but it's the reality.

Go back even further, what do I know of my great-great grandfathers? Nothing.

It makes me wonder what will be left when my life is over. What will be my legacy? Will any residue from my life remain when it's my great-great grandchildren's turn to live?

I have thought about this a lot.

The more I think about it, my conclusion is firmed. My children truly are my legacy. They will pass on faith in God (I hope), they will treat their children as I have treated them, they will make choices about family and career that will be partly influenced by mine. They may graduate from college. Their character may be a reflection of the values that I teach my children.

However, I realize that my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren will be individuals who make their own choices.

But I like to think that perhaps in a small way, my life, choices and character will be reflected in their lives. Otherwise, very little of what stresses me out and consumes large amounts of my time will be left after my life is over.

And that's what motivates me to keep my priorities straight.

Cloth Diaper FAQs

I had a mini-dialogue about cloth diapers with a stranger that started from a comment I left on Mamasource. Then one of my friends read my blog and asked me questions. So I thought I'd answer them here.

What about the start up cost?
The start-up cost ranges from $150 to more than $800. It all depends on what you use and how many you buy. My blogging pal, Hyacynth has a good explanation of the different types of cloth diapers in a post on her blog. I started by buying one or two of what interested me -- prefolds and covers and two types of pocket diapers: BumGenius One Size and FuzziBunz. I spent $50 or more at a time to build up my diaper stash slowly.

How many diapers do I need?
For awhile, I made it just fine with a dozen prefolds and covers and a few pockets. I bought a dozen flats (old fashioned birdseye that grandma used). They're cheap (about $1.50/piece) and work great as back-up if I get behind on the laundry.

As a mother with a full-time job, I think 24 diapers works great. Some have more. I try to wash every other day because if I wait longer, I have more than a washer load of diapers and I like to get the diaper laundry done in one evening.

How long do they last?
I don't know from personal experience, I've only been cloth diapering for a year. But I hear they last about two to four years. Prefolds and natural fabrics generally last longer than synthetic fleece and suedecloth. Use bleach on them and that cuts down their life expentency.

Do they come in different sizes?
Yes. Cloth diapers come in different sizes, usually three sizes. Except for Green Mountain prefolds, they come in six sizes. I'd like to mock them for making so many sizes, but honestly, I love their prefolds. I have a few of another brand and they don't even compare when it comes to thickness and quality.

The latest trend is a one size diaper that is supposed to work from 10 lbs to 30+ lbs. Some say they don't fit their baby right. I've had pretty good luck with them. I started out with a BumGenius with Anna when she was 10 lbs. It was a little bulky, but worked. However, the BumGenius did not fit my long toddler who was as tall as some 4 year olds (unusual kid). I tried a few other pockets that worked for both kids.

Rash -- does cloth cure or cause it?
Both.

If you leave a prefold on a baby too long, the bum will get red. With cloth, you need to change the baby as soon after they pee/poo as possible. Really, who'd want to sit in their urine? I've found fleece pockets to be more forgiving. Also, if a diaper doesn't get clean enough, the urine can react with the bacteria and cause a rash. If you wash the diapers in a detergent with enzymes, those enzymes may react with urine and cause a rash. These rash causers are "operator error" so they're avoidable.

However, disposable diaper manufacturers use some nasty chemicals to make diapers. Chemicals that have been tied to asthma and toxic shock syndrome. So disposables cause rash in some children. Switching to cloth has helped kids clear up a rash.

Northern Essence salve cures diaper rash and is safe to use with cloth diapers. It's a stick and not messy at all! (apologies to you cool, hip people--their label is a little 80s country deco but deal with it!)

How absorbent are they?
Green Mountain prefolds are super absorbent!

Anything with bamboo or hemp is super absorbent!

I've only had a problem with leaking when Anna was small and her skinny legs didn't fill diapers. And I've had leaks when I left her in a diaper too long, husband didn't put on the diaper tight enough (we disagree on how tight they should be), or the particular brand wasn't a good fit for her.

I had multiple poo explosions with my son, who mostly wore disposables. I've had one, maybe two with Anna, who has been exclusively cloth diapered.

Do you clean them in a bucket of bleach?
Nope. No bleach. Everything about cloth diapers is easier than the olden days.

When changing the diaper, I put the used one in a bucket/pail/trash can. At first, I used an open medium-sized trash can. Worked great, especially in the summer as the smell dissipated. But I decided to move the changing table into the living room and now we use a covered, large trash can. Both work great!

Now that Anna's bigger and poo is harder, I shake it off and put that diaper in a separate bucket. I rinse those first in the washer. There are diaper sprayers and I'm thinking one of those could change my life in a good way, but I haven't made the purchase yet.

My washing routine is to run the poopy diapers through rinse. Then I wash once on cool with soap and a second time on hot without. I find that routine gets the diapers clean and soap gets out. I've tried lots of variations and this seems to be working.

Is it REALLY cheaper, by the time you factor in all the laundry soap and extra water use?
Yes.

I have spent several hundred dollars less on cloth than I would have on disposables. I use cloth wipes too, so I save even more.

I have found laundry soap that lasts 3-4 months (Charlie's Soap) and that's with the 3-4 loads of diapers I do a week. It's a soap that washes out easily and is good for washing diapers. I think I spend less on laundry soap now since I started cloth diapering than when I was buying detergent at Target for just clothes. I recommend Charlie's to those of you who don't have diapers to wash. It works great and is a bargain! Free shipping too.

My water bill doubled this summer when I was cloth diapering two kids. It's not quite double now, but still more than when I wasn't using cloth. So, I'm spending $240 more a year on water. I posted about this on the mothering.com diapering message board. Turns out that no one else has had that experience. The water bill doesn't deter me or sour the experience.

Those are my answers to the questions. Feel free to ask more questions and experienced mamas--comment with your experience and opinions!

Why I Switched to Cloth

When I was pregnant with my first, I had lots of decisions to make without all the facts. As a first-time mom, I didn't know what I was getting into. Looking back, decisions about these things should have been different:

• Crib (I really didn't need one)
• Pack n play (a co-sleeper would have been better)
• Newborn clothes (even though the nb size isn't worn long, the baby still needs something to wear!)
• Diapers (should have gone for cloth)
  

We lived in an apartment at the time with coin washer and dryer. A friend talked to me about cloth diapers and while I was sorta open to it, I thought about the extra expense and effort to wash/dry them. The start-up cost seemed too much ($150-200+). My husband wrinkled his nose. Mom told me that I didn't want to mess with cloth diapers.

Looking back, I wish I had gone with cloth. diapers I could have started out by spending $50-$100 on prefolds and covers. And laundry wouldn't have been a lot of trouble because now I know that for some reason, adding a one baby doubles laundry (2 adults + 1 baby = laundry x2).

When Jensen was 18 months, he was leaving little poopy nuggets in his pull-ups (sorry, TMI) and it was so annoying! We were starting to spend at least $10 a week on those things, if not more. A new baby was coming and I remembered spending at least $40 if not $60 per month on diapers when Jensen was a newborn.

In frustration one night, I said to my husband, "We gotta try cloth, this is crazy!" He said, "OK."

What did I just hear?

I took that as his support and talked to my good friend who had already switched to cloth. I learned all I could from her via email. After a bunch of Internet research, I went to a local baby store, Tink Tinks, where the owner helped me understand all my options. Finally, the lingo made sense. I went to visit another local cloth diapering veteran who had cloth diapered her babies. I remembered that she had proudly said as her third baby was in the womb, "I'm having another baby and know that it won't cost us anything extra for awhile!" I admired such a claim.

I quickly found that large FuzziBunz worked best for my son. He was 2 1/2, but looked like a 3 or 4 year old. The one size BumGenius was too short for him. I bought a few training pants (Bummis and Imse Vmse), but he peed a lot and still needed a diaper.

When Anna arrived, I was silly excited to try cloth on her. I really liked using prefolds and covers. Once I got the hang of a snappi (alternative to pins), it was easy. They're easy to wash and cheap. Now I use pocket diapers, which work just like a disposable.

I switched to cloth because of the cost of pullups, but I keep using cloth because:

• it's easy
  
• after the initial investment, using cloth is easy on the budget (unless there's a new diaper that's oh, so cute with daisies, which leads me to the next)
• they're really cute (check out these colors and designs: Fuzzibunz and BumGenius)
• disposables have all kinds of nasty chemicals in them
• I don't have to think about my kid's diapers sitting in a landfill for GENERATIONS
• if I have a third kid, I won't have to worry about diapers (unless more new, cute designs are released)

Cloth is becoming cool. No more pins and plastic pants! You wouldn't believe how easy it is.

I'm a Pro!

I got two kids, a husband, myself and a well-packed suitcase out of the house yesterday ON TIME! I didn't even think about it, I packed up my cloth diapers and wipes. My son has more than enough clothes. We all have swimwear. Toiletries are packed!

We took a little road trip last night and it was nice (except for the wind that blew us into semis). We drove from the Chicago area to Indianapolis. Very uneventful and very quick. We giggled at the traffic-free roads at 10 (later we realized it was 11). We nodded in appreciation at how nice the downtown looks, but giggled again at being able to see the end of the "skyscrapers."

Our room has a view of the CAPITOL BUILDING! You can't even understand the glee that I feel to see the capitol building. I LOVE capitol buildings. I have an unmet, really, an unexpressed desire to see every capitol building in the US. For some reason, they thrill me.

Anyway, I feel like a woman who finally has the knack after 10 months of how to get two kids out the door.

I won't tell you that my little one doesn't have a shirt for bedtime to go with her jammie bottoms. I won't tell you that I don't have any socks for the second day.

Definition of Fun

Did you know that Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, has a blog? Neither did I. But he does.





He had an interesting blog post about the definition of life. Go read it.

It made me wonder. How is "fun" defined on Wikipedia?

Recreation or fun is the expenditure of time in a manner designed for therapeutic refreshment of one's body or mind.

I think fun is watching my 10 month old play with the printer and the amazement on her face at watching a printed page come out of the printer. Fun is also watching her pull the clothes out of my dresser.

Fun is not hearing her cry cuz she bumped her face on the leg of the dresser.

Fun is pretending. Somehow, in the seriousness of working and adult life, I forgot how to pretend. But I can make a dinosaur talk with the best of them since my toddler has grown an imagination.

Fun is time spent with friends sorting out life.

Fun is shopping at Trader Joe's. But the paying part is even more fun at Aldi's.

Fun is snuggling up to my husband.

Fun is different now, but it's also the same. Fun is adventure, love, enjoying the moment--whatever that looks like.

What is fun for you?

Mindless Eating

Why We Eat More Than We Think

Mindless Eating by Brian Wansink, Ph.D., is the best diet book I've ever read. Sometime I'll have to blog about the CEO who thought his employees would appreciate a diet book as a Christmas gift. Stop giggling, it's true.

I've blogged before about weight and why we're fat. But this book pulls back the curtain and talks about the research he and his team have done on people's eating habits. If you need help sticking to your food plan or have 10-20 pounds to lose and don't mind that it might take a year--this book is for you!

I boil down his book to this fact: All of us are on the see-food diet. We see food and we eat it. He's done several behavioral studies that show that if people have food in front of them, they will eat more than they think they ate (even if it's not good tasting).

While he doesn't summarize his points in 10 tidy steps, I'll summarize them for you, but you gotta get this book. It was available at my local library. Here they are:

• Stop buying in bulk. If you have the food in your cupboard, you will eat too much.
• Make as much food as you need for your meal. But if you have left overs, put your food on your plate and put the rest away.
• If you have to have food on the table during dinner (buffet style is best), put the veggies on the table and leave the starches in the kitchen.
• If you're going to snack, put the amount you want in a bowl and eat just that. Snack foods can be divided up into serving sizes and put in your cupboard.
• Eat on small plates and bowls.
• Replace soda with water. Dehydration is mistaken for hunger.
• Put tempting food/snacks in a place that's hard to get to, whether at the office or at home.
  

He encourages his readers to find the "Top Three Strategies" that they can implement--three small ways to eat healthier. He talks about food trade-offs "No potato chips unless I've exercised that day" or "Throw half of my French fries away before I sit down." There are also food policies (in our family--no sweets, except on Saturday when we eat donuts).

He makes the good point that shaving off 100 or 200 calories a day won't trigger the body's deprivation response. So 100-200 calories a day will add up to a long-term weight loss without suffering.

I thought it was an encouraging book and may help you keep that New Year's resolution!

Check out his online survey to see if you're a mindless eater. http://mindlesseating.org/mindless_meter.htm

What to call adults -- my conclusion

Thanks to those who answered my poll and left comments. The results:

36%: Ms. /Mr. (last name)
31%: Miss/Mr. (first name)
21%: First name
21%: Other (seems to be a combination of the above)

The reason I can't figure out what to do and had this poll (thanks to all who answered) is because I have residual stereotypes from my days in the South. Most of the people I know encourage their children to call adults "Miss/Mr First Name." Even though these are people who live in Chicagoland, it reminds me of living in Nashville, which is when I first heard the practice. And my other memories of Nashville? Witnessing blatant racism, feeling left out, realizing that being a Yankee was still an issue for some people. Studying history doesn't help matters, especially reading African-American literature. Plus, the few times I've traveled to the South, I've had some interesting interactions and observations. Unfortunately, I'm a regionalist--I prefer living in the North for cultural and social reasons. I have bias against the South.

So asking my child to refer to someone as "Miss First Name" seems like I'm encouraging him to fly the stars and bars.

I think that I need to get over it.

In the meantime, I'm going to ask adults what they want my child to call them. Since some people would be mortified that a child would call them by their first name, it's not worth it. Part of being a parent is helping my child navigate society, so that means using socially acceptable titles.

What to call adults?

Vote in my poll. I wanna know what to do.